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Thursday, June 11, 2015

Hard Admissions About Alcohol

Today we had an incredible breakthrough: Robert admitted he could not be trusted to control his intake of alcohol. This is a huge step, one I have just made myself.

It is very hard to say "I can't trust myself" and this admission is personally hurtful, to me, and I cannot imagine how this feels to my dad.

His admission came with a "compromise", something every addiction counselor or patient knows all to well. "I know I can't handle this, but if we just do _________, all will be OK". This works about as well as the snake oil we all see on late night TV or the next "Weight loss without diet change or exercise" fad. He would let Joycelyn and I to have the bottle, and pour him his two regulated drinks a day.

Two problems:

1. This won't work. Ask any AA, NA, or real addiction counselor and they will tell you this has an equal chance of success as winning PowerBall. It doesn't happen.

2. He WILL cheat. Eventually, some day, at some time he will want a drink when it is not scheduled. And in NYC with a credit card, you don't even need to get off your couch for a bottle of gin, vodka, rum, tequila, wine, champagne or porte to be delivered.

The point one should take from this is:

Robert admits he had a problem.

This is so epic, I cannot describe my job. Ever day he is in the Jewish Home is a day closer to what he needs: a life without alcohol, a life that will soonishly include grandchildren and a life of Opera, plays, musicals and happy 5-Star meals with family -- the reasons he moved to NYC.

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